After a while, specially after longer thoughts and evaluations, finally I’ve come to realize that I have to prioritize. Leaving work was sure not a very wise decision considering that instead of getting fired, I was actually promoted 3 months ago..

I have to work hard, harder than before, not only in my office, but also at my house. I should take more and more less non-job-related activities, so I can manage my time more easily.

The ‘Other’ Leave is surely on. I’m prioritizing my other activities than work. Hopefully, that will bring more hope and greatness into my and my family’s life…

Yes I’m leaving my job again. Hopefully for the last time

Time target: Mid June this year (2009)

I’ve to write it here, so I won’t try to deny and escape the commitment again.

Yes darling, (y)our dream have come true

Three days in Jakarta had made me think a lot about myself. A not so spiritual retreat has led me to some big decisions for my life. The only thing now is just a hope, that I can do it.

I’ve got to learn to accept full-heartedly some things that i’ve been denying all this time.

Unreal feelings -sad to admit it but it is unreal- that led me to chase my own shadow, pursuing wrong dreams..

A break down, a lightning struck of the foundation of my feelings have lead me to re-evaluate my life in these days.

I have to admit it, I’m not a good person. I’m one of the most hypocritical person I’ve ever met. Sad to admit it but it is true.

Now, I have to reconcile myself, reconcile with God, reconcile with my purpose.

If some people are having their mid-life crisis at about 40, I think I’m having mine now.. or at least I started early.. maybe when I’m 40, another thing will come up and struck me even harder.. but that story will have to wait for another 10+ years.

Goals. A word that I have been neglecting for almost 2 years. I’ve left my goals, I’ve left my ideals, eventually I’ve left my purpose behind me, and this all crises is just a high-cost proof of me loosing it again.

Those unread self development books I own, those motivational wisdom I’ve heard all this time, left me behind just like it has always been in the past. Making me not a better person, but a more and more hypocritical one. They changed my life for sure, but I think I am lack of faithfulness or endurance or even loyalty to my own commitment.

I have to re-model my life, fix things so it can turn into a better shape, leave fear, uncertainty and doubt (FUD) behind and start living my dreams, my goals, my true self, however blurry they are now.

It will not satisfy everybody, but at least I’ll be true to myself, my faith, my family and everyone.

A great quote i got today from a banner in the airport: Change is not an option, it’s essential.. I have to prove it. Not for anybody, but for myself, that i can be better than this, I have to learn more and do more, I can be better than the ones that have beaten me in any aspect of (my) life.

Hopefully, this time I really change, just as she requested me to be. How sad, how late, but it must me done, however painful it will be.

chendra.net lagi gila, waktu itu pernah posting tentang liburan ke Parai (dan memang ngga’ sadar posting ini udah ‘hilang’ beberapa lama), trus tadi tiba-tiba nongol.. tapi yang lain (fedora, super…man) hilang.. setelah upgrade wp via fantastico, dan optimize database wp.. fedora dan superman muncul tapi parai justru entah kemana…

kaco! pindah kemana ya?

Since this is originally an english written blog, and my ‘real’ blog is temporarily STUPID, I’ll just post the entry here, of course with a proper translation of the post in english

Ehm.. tidak seperti teman-teman lain, yang pada pinter2 bercerita untuk entry lomba foto, saya mah tu de poin aja …

In English:
Ehm.. Unlike other friends, who are very smart and creative in the way they present their photo-stories, I’ll just go straight to the point …

FOTO 1 ======================
Tanggal Pemotretan: 17/11/2005
Lokasi Pemotretan:
Obyek = Sunset di Makassar, Pulau Lae-Lae dan Benteng/Fort Rotterdam.
Fotografernya = Crane bangunan gedung baru Kantor Walikotamadya Makassar –> yang ini yang seru nih. Foto ini betul-betul tidak terlupakan, bukan cuma hasilnya yang IMHO cantik, tapi proses sampai bisa dapat fotonya yang unik *padahal ceritanya cuma kaya gini: waktu itu kita lagi pasang antena/bts/subscriber module canopy di kantor walikota … hehehehe*
====================================

In English:
PICTURE 1 ======================
Date of Picture taken: November 17, 2005
Location:
Object Location = Sunset in Makassar, Lae-Lae Island and Fort Rotterdam.
Photographer’s Location = In a Crane at the construction site of the new office of Makassar city major. This is the interesting part. This picture is absolutely unforgettable, not only because the result is IMHO beautiful, but the process to get the picture itself is unique. *The story goes like this: Back then, me and my friends were mounting and installing a Canopy Subscriber Module at the major’s office … hehehehe*
====================================

FOTO 2 =====================
Tanggal Pemotretan: 04/03/2007
Lokasi Pemotretan: Jl. Somba Opu, Makassar (di event Karnaval Budaya Nusantara 2007)
Ceritanya: Siapa yang nggak ingat Makassar dengan Sultan Hasanuddinnya kalau ketemu ama pria-pria kekar, gondrong dan bertopi merah seperti ini? Padahal Sultan Hasanuddin dari Gowa di’
====================================

In English:
PICTURE 2 =====================
Date of Picture taken: March 4, 2007
Location: Jl. Somba Opu, Makassar (at the Karnaval Budaya Nusantara 2007)
The story: Who wouldn’t remember Makassar with the brave Sultan Hasanuddin if you see these handsome(?), long-haired, and red-hatted men like this? even though Sultan Hasanuddin was originally from Gowa
====================================

… To comply with the administration process of the contest …
here you go: